


After the nightmare, a new beginning

by NoMoreBeer4U



Series: After the nightmare series [17]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26679220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMoreBeer4U/pseuds/NoMoreBeer4U
Summary: After Daniel left Jack, is there still any hope for the boys?
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Series: After the nightmare series [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704055
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	After the nightmare, a new beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This work is an epilogue for the previous work, "After the nightmare, jealousy." You must read that one first, so this one makes any sense.
> 
> Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own them, I don't make money with this, don't sue me...

Daniel was playing _Song from a secret garden_ in his piano. It definitely fitted his mood. He closed his eyes and let himself be carried away by the music, ignoring the tears that splashed on the keys. He wondered how his heart could still hurt so much considering the fact that he no longer had one. He had left it at Jack’s house two weeks ago. He was in sheer agony. This far exceeded the raw pain he felt when Sha're died. He wondered if someday it would get better. Maybe it was time to let go, to leave everything behind, and start again in someplace far away. God, the thought of doing it without Jack ripped his soul.

He was so lost in his pain that he didn’t hear the knock on the door, nor noticed the figure that came into the apartment. He felt so numb that he barely startled when felt a trembling hand squeezing his shoulder gently. He would recognize that touch among millions.

_Jack_.

He rested his unmoving hands on the keyboard, but he didn’t open his eyes. He was afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him, and the figure would disappear if he dared to look. The hand on his shoulder squeezed a bit harder.

“Jack,” he whispered.

“Shhhhh,” Jack shushed him gently. “I want you to come with me for a ride. I need you to come with me. Please.”

Daniel sniffed and swallowed. “Where?”

“Nowhere. Everywhere. Just come. Please. Please.”

There was such an amount of emotion in Jack’s voice that Daniel couldn’t do anything but nod. He opened his eyes and met warm chocolate ones staring back at him. He was stunned by the huge amount of love that could read on those eyes. Jack had looked at him with love, desire, and lust many times, but this… this was pure, sheer, absolute love and devotion. A tiny light illuminated his soul. Maybe there was some hope. His heart began to pound. Maybe it was still there after all. Or maybe Jack had just brought it back with him from Washington.

“Ok,” Daniel whispered with a hoarse voice. “Just give a minute.” He cleared his throat. “I need to… huh…”

“I'll wait for you in the car,” Jack said softly.

Daniel went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face to remove the track of tears. His heart was pounding wildly. He took some deep breaths to compose himself and went to meet the General in the car.

Jack drove in silence. Daniel side-eyed him from time to time. Something was different in the General. Something had changed. He looked… serene.

When half an hour later Daniel realized where they were going the blood froze in his veins.

_The cemetery._

Jack parked and turned off the engine.

“Jack, I…” Daniel was without words. Jack had never taken him to visit Charlie's grave. The child was part of the deepest intimacy of Jack’s heart. Although he had opened to Daniel in almost everything, this was still beyond boundaries. Charlie was part of Jack’s story with Sara. It was her who should be at his side, comforting each other. The archaeologist felt like an outsider.

Jack interrupted him pressing a finger on his lips. His eyes begged *please, I need to do this* so loud that Daniel only nodded. He had a tingling feeling in his stomach that made him feel slightly dizzy.

They walked side by side and in a few minutes, Jack stopped in front of a tombstone and knelt. Daniel read the engraving.

Tyler Charlie O’Neill

Beloved son and grandson

24th February 1985 - 16th April 1995

“Hi, Charlie,” Jack said softly, his eyes glued to the stone with his son's name on it. He didn’t say anything for a while. Daniel held his breath. Then Jack smiled and went on talking.

“I want to introduce you to someone. This is Daniel.” Another pause. “You know? When you died, I didn’t want to live anymore. You were… everything in my life. But then I met… I met Daniel. We went on a mission, and he… saved my life. Can you believe it? I wanted to die and that stupid pigheaded took a blast and died for me,” Jack laughed.

Daniel smiled slightly at the older man's attempt of humor.

“But he didn’t stay dead, you know? It’s what he does.” He looked at Daniel and smiled at him fondly before focusing on the tombstone again.

“He made me wish to live again. I wanted to hate him, but guess what? Instead of that, I fell in love with him. I loved your mother very much, I still love her, but we couldn’t live together anymore. It’s no one’s fault. It's just… the way it is.” Jack stopped and swallowed hard before continuing.

“I didn’t see Daniel in one year after the mission, but then, we met again, and as they say, the rest is history. Here goes a cliché, huh? The thing is that Daniel and I loved each other since then and with time we became lovers. But I screwed everything up. I… I fucked it up.” He inhaled deeply and sighed. “But I still love him, you know? I never stopped and I never will. But I hurt him. I've hurt him several times. And he’s right, you know? He is very smart. He’s the smartest person I've ever known. And he figured it out. He always figures out the most complex puzzles. And he finally did it with me.”

Jack reached out a hand and traced his son’s name with his fingers.

“I'll never forget you, Charlie. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I miss you every day. But finally… finally I'm willing to admit, that what happened to you wasn’t… completely my fault. It was an accident. A terrible, unfortunate accident. I've been… punishing myself for it for almost ten years. I'm so, so sorry you died, son, so, so sorry, but… but I want to be happy again.”

Jack closed his eyes for a few seconds to control the rush of emotion that was filling his insides.

“I finally understood that I deserve to be happy despite what happened to you. And Daniel makes me happy. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him if he still wants me.” He turned his head and looked at the archaeologist intensely. “He deserves to be happy more than anyone. He’s the best person I’ve ever known and he’s suffered enough. “

Daniel’s eyes wetted. This was Jack sharing with him his most intimate pain. This was Jack including him in the deepest corner of his soul. And suddenly he didn’t feel like an outsider anymore. He knelt next to Jack and took his hand. The General smiled at the gesture and a first tear rolled down his cheek. They looked at each other and Jack took a deep breath to compose himself.

“No more guilt,” he said. “You were right, Danny. We deserve to be happy. Now I understand it. And if you still want me, I promise to spend the rest of my life making up to you. For real this time.”

Daniel couldn’t speak. He was overwhelmed by Jack’s display of love. He swallowed convulsively as he fought back the tears that moistened his eyelashes.

“You see? I sometimes listen to you,” the older man shrugged. “So I gave a thought or two at everything you said in Washington. Eight years ago I told you sometimes I could forget about Charlie, but that I would never forgive myself. I believed it impossible at that time. You always beat my odds, Dr. Jackson. For a linguist, you seem to keep forgetting the meaning of *impossible*.

Daniel could no longer hold the tears.

“When you left me, I was devasted,” Jack continued with a cracked voice. “I thought I had lost you for good. I hadn’t felt such amount of pain since Charlie died, and you ascended. God, I don’t want to feel like that again, ever. I don’t think I could take it. I cried for hours. I mourned for both of you. And I realized I never mourned Charlie completely. I felt so guilty that I never really allowed it to myself. And I did it. That day in Washington I did it for real. I cried for my lost child, and something snapped inside me. For the first time, I found myself screaming against fate and misfortune, not just against me.”

Daniel squeezed his lover’s hand, encouraging him to continue.

“I thought a lot about the whole mess, and a few days later, I finally came to terms with my guilt about Charlie’s death. I always knew how much I love you, but at that moment I realized how much you love ME". Jack began to weep openly.

“I taught Charlie never to touch a gun. I taught him how dangerous they are. No, no, God forgive me, I'm not saying it was his fault, but I wasn’t completely careless either. The gun was in my drawer under lock. He wasn’t supposed to know where the key was. But you know kids. He was curious. He found the key, I don’t know how. So maybe it wasn’t my fault after all.”

Daniel was speechless. He had lost hope with Jack and there he was. Finally coping with the most terrible event of his life. His heart swelled with infinite love. The enormous amount of emotion he was feeling at the moment was indescribable.

Jack carded his lover’s hair and caressed his cheek. I love you, Danny. More than anything. You’re my life…”

Daniel reached out a hand and cupped Jack’s damped face tenderly.“… my heart…,” he continued.

“… my soul…” Jack followed.

“Forever,” they said in unison.

And they met in a fervent kiss, not caring at all that they were at a public place. They both needed the reconnection, and they needed it now. Oh, how they had missed it! How had they thought they could live apart? Daniel secretly blessed Vala and the oh-no-so-damned-bracelets.

When they broke the kiss, Jack took Daniel’s hands in his. The tears had stopped falling and both men’s eyes were shining with relief. ” Daniel, about Vala…” Jack started, “ I want you to know that I believe you. I trust you. I trusted you all along.”

“You… you did? You do?” Daniel frowned, bewildered. “Then why all the accusations?”

“I've been thinking about that too. Daniel, you died several times fighting the Goa’uld and the replicators. Now we’re facing a new enemy, and you've almost died at least twice. If Mitchell and Teal’c hadn’t thrown away the ancient device into the wormhole when they did…” Jack shuddered to the memory of Daniel’s ordeal in the Ori galaxy.

“Hey, hey, I'm ok. The bracelets’ link is gone,” Daniel reassured him.

“The other day,” Jack continued, “ when you said you were scared… Daniel, you never get scared, that only means that what’s coming to us is huge. And I want nothing more than to fight at your side. But that’s not possible anymore.

“What does it have to do with Vala?” Daniel asked, confused.

“Years ago, when you had your appendix attack, I… God, I thought you were going to die on me,” Jack explained.” I freaked out, I mean, really, really freaked out. Janet noticed it, hell, the whole infirmary staff noticed it. So Janet gave me a piece of advice. And I stopped touching you in public. I could no longer ruffle your hair, much less hug you after a rough mission, no without triggering the *don’t ask, don’t tell* alarm. And I missed it so much. Oh, I could touch you at home, granted, but I really missed those touches at work. And when you told me you were scared, I wanted nothing more than to hug you and make it better. But we were on base and I couldn’t. So when I saw Vala touching you like that, I… god, I went nuts. I'm sick of that damn bigotry in the military. When she slumped onto you, no one made a face or wrinkled their nose, because she’s a woman. I wasn’t jealous of her per se, I was jealous of what she could do.”

“Then why didn’t you say so?” Daniel rebuked him.

“I didn’t know what was happening at the moment. You know I can be a bit dense. The only thing I knew was the raw pain that was twisting my gut,” Jack defended himself.

“We could have avoided a lot of trouble, you know?” Daniel lamented.

“I'm sorry, Danny, I really am,” the older man apologized sincerely.

“The good thing is that you finally understood,” the archaeologist stroke his lover’s handsome face. And it’s a good thing you found it out on your own.

“After you kicked my ass.”

Daniel chuckled. “It’s what I do.”

“What do you think, Charlie?” Jack asked the tombstone. “He drives me nuts. Do you think I should keep him?”

A sudden air stream lifted some leaves in a twister and ruffled Jack’s hair. The General froze.

“Oh, my God, Daniel, that happened after you ascended! It was you, I knew then it was you. Do you think that Charlie…?”

“I think he never left you, Jack. And he loves you and, and forgives you, and he wants you to be happy.”

The two lovers melted in a heartfelt hug and breathed each other’s love while the wind lifted the leaves in a merry dance around them and ruffled their hair.

***

**_Later that night_ **

The two lovers were lying naked on the bed after a mindblowing round of lovemaking. Jack was on his back and Daniel on his side, their legs hooked together. Daniel was playing with the hair on the older man's chest with his fingers while Jack stroked his lover's belly with his knuckles. They were staring at each other with eyes brimming with love and adoration.

“I love so much, baby,” Jack whispered, “and for the first time, when I say it, I feel completely at peace.”

“I love you too, Jack. So much that I feel like my heart is going to combust spontaneously. I'm so proud of you. You faced your demons and you won.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you. You saved my life before, but today, you saved my soul. I know that I’ve said this before, but I don’t think it’s possible to love someone more than I love you.”

Daniel’s throat tightened and a tear rolled down his cheek and got stuck on the tip of his nose. Jack moved closer and kissed it away.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked with concern.

“Nothing, nothing is wrong,” Daniel whispered. “It’s just… I'm so happy right now. I feel completely liberated. For the first time, I feel absolutely certain that everything is gonna be ok between us. I only wish… I wish you could stay longer. It’s not the same here without you, you know? I'm going to miss you so much.”

Jack pulled him into a fierce embrace. Daniel buried his face on Jack’s neck and moved his leg up to wrap Jack’s waist. The General could feel his lover’s cock pulsating against his hip and felt his expended one beginning to swell again.

“We'll figure it out, baby. It's just a three hours flight. We can meet on weekends, holidays, downtime, sickness leaves…”

Daniel laughed and nodded.

Both men knew they couldn’t ignore the new enemy. Jack understood that Daniel felt a responsibility for the Ori threat. The SGC still needed him. As a former ascended being, he could understand the power of the Ori better than anyone. Although he'd like to drag his lover to Minnesota and hide there forever, he knew that it’s wasn’t yet time for the archaeologist to retire. Neither was his. He could look after him and the SGC from Washington. At least Daniel was still on the same planet. They agreed in meeting every time they could and do the best of it. Anyway, none of them was getting any younger. Hopefully, in a few years, he would retire for good and they could live together once and for all.

“I'm not longer here to protect you. Promise me you'll take care, ok?”

The archaeologist unburied his face from Jack’s neck and looked at his lover.

“I can take care of myself, Jack. Mitchell, on the other hand…” he teased.

“That bad, huh?”

“Well, you know, new guy and all that.”

Jack chuckled. He thought of the Daniel he had met ten years ago. He was so proud of his evolution. He had improved his defense skills so he could engage any combat situation like a pro, but he wasn’t and never would be a soldier, thank god. After everything he had been through, he had managed to keep his spirit intact. He wasn’t the clumsy, idealist naïve anymore, but he still preferred to fight with words to achieve diplomatic solutions rather than firing a gun.

“What?” Daniel asked seeing his lover was studying him.

“I was also thinking how proud I'm of you,” Jack stated.

Daniel took Jack’s mouth in a long and passionate kiss.

“Charlie would have loved you,” Jack said when his lips unglued.

“I'm sure I would have loved him too. If he was half like you, I'm sure he was an amazing child.”

“He was the best.” For the first time in almost ten years, Jack smiled sincerely at the memory of his lost child. “Do you remember that day, when you told me you had the feeling that we had someone looking out for us?

“Uhu.”

“What if… what if it’s Charlie?” Jack wondered.

“That’s a beautiful thought, Jack. Maybe it is. If I've learned something during these past ten years, it’s that nothing is impossible. So, yes, why not? That would explain a lot,” Daniel agreed.

“Yeah, it would.”

“By the way, Jack, I was thinking… have you sold your house already?” the archaeologist asked, suddenly changing the subject.

“It's on sale, but no, not yet, why?”

“I want to buy it,” Daniel stated.

“What?!” Jack exclaimed, stunned.

“I love that house, it’s… home,” Daniel smiled fondly. “I'm sick of moving from apartment to apartment. Looks like I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. So I want to buy it. If you can't be here anymore, at least I want to feel like you still are. I want to live in your house. It will make me feel closer to you.”

“Ok, I see what you mean, but no way I'm going to take your money,” Jack said firmly.

“Jack, in case you don’t know, my payroll is quite generous. I can afford it perfectly.”

“I know you can pay for the house. It’s not that,” the General assured.

“Then what?” Daniel asked, a bit confused.

“Daniel, the only reason we aren’t married is because of laws and regulations, right?” Jack asked.

“Right,” the archaeologist nodded in agreement.

“Ok, let’s imagine for a moment that you’re a woman and we’re legally married.”

“Hey, why do I have to be the woman?” Daniel protested.

“It doesn’t matter. Just imagine it, ok?”

Daniel scowled at him.

“Ok, ok, I'll be the woman, happy now?” the older man rolled his eyes.

“Very, Jaqueline.”

“Smartass.”

“Let’s forget the sex issue, ok?”

“Ok, Jaqueline.” Daniel batted his eyelashes and Jack rolled his eyes again.

“Just imagine we are legally married, ok?”

“Ok. I can do that,” Daniel grinned.

“So, we are married, we live together at my… our house, I go to Washington but your job is important too, and you need to stay here. Where would you live?” Jack asked, lifting his eyebrows.

“In our house, of course.”

“Exactly!”

"Jack, there's no way I'm staying at your place for free!" Daniel protested.

“Why not? What difference does a stupid paper make? You’re my husband to me. It’s the same.”

“Oh. I see your point.”

“Daniel, I wanted to sell the house cause both of us were moving,” Jack explained. “But everything is different now. Besides, we're not going to live apart forever, just for some time. Then we’ll decide where we are going to live. If we move to another place we can sell the house then.”

“I guess it makes sense,” the archaeologist agreed.

“Take the house, Danny. I will make me very happy to know that you’re living there.”

“Ok. But I will pay for the whole expenses and taxes. It’s the least I can do.”

“Deal,” Jack grinned. “ First thing tomorrow, I'll call the agency and I'll take the house out of the market.”

Both men smiled, satisfied with their agreement. Jack thought it would be really nice to be at his home again every time he could visit Colorado Springs.

“Thank you, Jack. It means a lot to me. I love you.” Daniel yawned and looked at Jack with drowsy eyes.

“I love you too. But now, baby, you’re exhausted. Let’s sleep. It’s been an intense day.”

Daniel turned on his other side and Jack spooned behind him, his arm wrapped tightly around his lover’s waist.”

“Good night, Jack. I love you.”

“Good night, Danny. Good night, Charlie. I love you both.”

Maybe it was his imagination, but Jack thought he had heard a whisper.

_“Good night, dad, good night Daniel. I love you both, too”_

**The end for now**

**Author's Note:**

> On "Stargate, the movie" appears a picture of Jack's son, and his name is Tyler. Since the kid's name in the series is Charlie, I guess these are his first and second names.


End file.
